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Current Question
I am 47 years old, have never been married, and would really like to be in a loving relationship. My problem is that I really thought that I had finally found "Mr. Right" and now I'm not so sure.
Pat and I are both dancers and met each other at a dance. We were friends for several months -- dancing, talking, and sometimes going dancing for hours. As we spent more and more time together, I realized that I was beginning to have romantic feelings for Pat and I believed that he was having the same feelings for me. On a weekend camping trip, Pat and I were intimate and I was thrilled that we were now committed to each other.
A few weeks later, Pat told me that he really was "not ready" for a committed relationship¦ but still wanted to remain friends. I was devastated and did not go out dancing for several months. Finally, I went on anti-depressants and made my way back to the dance community. Pat and I still went dancing a couple of times. However, I would not dance with him -- since that was just too intimate and painful for me.
Photo Credit: Photo by RoozA few months later, Pat told me that he missed our times together and would like to give our relationship "another chance." After much thought, I said OK -- but that there would be no intimacy since I just couldn't go down that road again. He was surprised and changed his mind again.
It's now been several months and I'm doing fairly well -- well enough to now dance with Pat again. But I still love him.
Do you think that I should listen to Pat -- and try again with a relationship that includes intimacy?
Thanks so much!
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Thank you for your time, energy and expertise...at our recent conference on relationships....what an invaluable contribution I found it to be. It’s not surprising that you received very high ratings in the post session summaries.
~K.R., Warrington, PA

